Women Empowering Women

“There’s a place reserved in Hell for women who don’t help other women.”
–Madeleine Albright

Name-calling, rumor-spreading, and cyber bullying are all things which encompass relational aggression, a special type of aggression which is most often utilized among females. When I see or hear these things, women oppressing women by insulting or intentionally causing emotional damage to each other, I can’t help but cringe. How are we to escape the pressure we put on ourselves to look and be “perfect” if we scrutinize each other so often?

The way I see it, it’s a vicious cycle. One female feels unhappy with herself, so she calls another female “fat,” “ugly,” or a “whore” in order to feel more comfortable with herself. I feel like a lot of females do this, draw negative attention to another female, in order to divert possible negative attention that may come their way. It’s incredibly sad, honestly, that any female should feel so awful about herself that she feels the need to put down another, and what’s even more sad is that the female she puts down often times believes in the unwarranted and hurtful comments that come her way.

What on earth are we doing? All people are incredibly beautiful. Some are scarred, some are hurt, some have been severely affected by adversity, but we are all unique and that is beautiful.

I thought I’d take the time to stress the importance of empowering each other.

First of all, I went for a run the other day in downtown State College, and I saw this written on the sidewalk: Why don’t we see this everywhere? Why aren’t messages like this all over social media? Why is it so acceptable and natural to call someone a whore or a slut, but it’s almost uncomfortable or unheard of to say “You are beautiful”? Why is a female considered conceited if she says, “I am beautiful,” or walks around with her head held high?

Ladies, we need to empower each other. Lift your head up and smile, and if you see a girl with her head down, or if you sense a girl feels as if she isn’t worthy or good enough, let her know otherwise!

I follow a ton of people on Twitter with mindsets similar to my own, and I noticed that one of the women I follow just made a blog post which mentioned her previous struggle with an eating disorder. At first I thought, “Oh, sweet! Another recovery story!” But what made this one special is that this woman is a social worker, and she shared her struggle for the first time on her blog.

(You can view it here:  progressnotperfection.co.uk )

After posting her blog, she tweeted this:
Shared blog on Facebook for the very first time! If it makes just one person more aware it’s worth it #recovery #openness #beingreal

This is the mentality that we need– that sharing our stories and our wisdom is worth it if we can positively affect just one person by it

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Taken from my “Development Through the Lifespan” text by Laura E. Berks

“I wish my thighs didn’t touch”

Many of us dying to lose weight (especially those with anorexia nervosa) will have images in their heads of bodies they wish they had. They include but are not limited to:

• visible collar bones
• thighs that don’t touch
• no love handles
• visible hip bones

I know, I’ve been there.
I remember being in therapy telling my therapist that I thought that if my thighs touched, it meant I was fat. She explained to me that thighs touching isn’t an indicator of fattness; even people who are healthy weights may have thighs that touch. There are so many different body types. The likelihood of your thighs touching depends on several things, like your bone structure and musculature. It is not an indicator of “being fat”

I’m writing this post because I hear and see comments like this more often than I should: People wishing that you could see their ribs, wishing their hip bones popped out or that their collarbones were prominent.

A person’s drive for weight loss should be solely for improving one’s health.

For those of you who diet or try to lose weight to achieve that “thin” look I described above, I have news for you: You will never reach it. Why? Because enough is never enough. You will never be satisfied. Your collarbones will never be visible enough for your liking. Your hips will never be prominent enough, your thighs will never be too thin. And these standards aren’t those that other people hold upon you. You’re already beautiful the way you are. These are standards and images you seek to obtain yourself.

Please, learn to love yourself for how you are now. If you catch yourself thinking that you will not be beautiful or attractive until you achieve a certain look, please talk to someone. I don’t want to see anyone heading down the dark path that I got trapped in.

As always, you can always use me as a resource>
I’m here to help, always.

Love,
Marilee

marilee.fritsch@gmail.com

The photos in this post were taken from Happy Valley Magazine, Penn State University 

Why I love walks

Sometimes we are so upset with the stresses of modern life, but we cannot allow ourselves to not take time to stop and admire how much beauty there is. Even on a rainy day; even when times are hard; even when we want to give up or give in to our unhealthy vices.

I like going on walks not only because of the exercise, but because of what it does for my mind and spirit. Every time I see a flower, the sun, a child, a family, another pedestrian walking with their pets… I am reminded of the beauty there is in the world.

Sometimes I daydream on my walks. I daydream about my future, about people I care about; some of them are people I don’t even know. Sometimes I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the beauty there is and I feel like I may just explode or burst into tears. For the sake of not looking like a weirdo crying on the street (haha), I take it all in and breathe. Then I keep walking.

I have plenty of reasons to be happy.
But I also have plenty of reasons to be unhappy.

I could dwell on my unstable past (by past I mean childhood and recent past) and choose to sit at home and feel miserable. I could sit here and drink all day and feel sorry for myself. But why would I do that? I’ve spent enough time doing that. I want to inspire people, not only inspire them to eat well, but I want to show them that happiness doesn’t lie in material things. 

Again, I want to show people that happiness doesn’t lie in material things.
One more time. Happiness does not lie in material things. 

It also isn’t found in social status, popularity, fame, money, or appearance. 
I used to be what society considered beautiful. I used to be underweight (because I suffered from anorexia nervosa) and people complimented me. Little did they know I was unintentionally torturing myself. Did they care? Not really. They liked how I looked, and that was it.

I hope whoever is reading this takes something away from it. Beauty is only there if you choose to see it. Anything can be beautiful. And, to me, that simple fact is beautiful.