Women Empowering Women

“There’s a place reserved in Hell for women who don’t help other women.”
–Madeleine Albright

Name-calling, rumor-spreading, and cyber bullying are all things which encompass relational aggression, a special type of aggression which is most often utilized among females. When I see or hear these things, women oppressing women by insulting or intentionally causing emotional damage to each other, I can’t help but cringe. How are we to escape the pressure we put on ourselves to look and be “perfect” if we scrutinize each other so often?

The way I see it, it’s a vicious cycle. One female feels unhappy with herself, so she calls another female “fat,” “ugly,” or a “whore” in order to feel more comfortable with herself. I feel like a lot of females do this, draw negative attention to another female, in order to divert possible negative attention that may come their way. It’s incredibly sad, honestly, that any female should feel so awful about herself that she feels the need to put down another, and what’s even more sad is that the female she puts down often times believes in the unwarranted and hurtful comments that come her way.

What on earth are we doing? All people are incredibly beautiful. Some are scarred, some are hurt, some have been severely affected by adversity, but we are all unique and that is beautiful.

I thought I’d take the time to stress the importance of empowering each other.

First of all, I went for a run the other day in downtown State College, and I saw this written on the sidewalk: ImageWhy don’t we see this everywhere? Why aren’t messages like this all over social media? Why is it so acceptable and natural to call someone a whore or a slut, but it’s almost uncomfortable or unheard of to say “You are beautiful”? Why is a female considered conceited if she says, “I am beautiful,” or walks around with her head held high?

Ladies, we need to empower each other. Lift your head up and smile, and if you see a girl with her head down, or if you sense a girl feels as if she isn’t worthy or good enough, let her know otherwise!

I follow a ton of people on Twitter with mindsets similar to my own, and I noticed that one of the women I follow just made a blog post which mentioned her previous struggle with an eating disorder. At first I thought, “Oh, sweet! Another recovery story!” But what made this one special is that this woman is a social worker, and she shared her struggle for the first time on her blog.

(You can view it here:  progressnotperfection.co.uk )

After posting her blog, she tweeted this:
Shared blog on Facebook for the very first time! If it makes just one person more aware it’s worth it #recovery #openness #beingreal

This is the mentality that we need– that sharing our stories and our wisdom is worth it if we can positively affect just one person by it

“I wish my thighs didn’t touch”

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Many of us dying to lose weight (especially those with anorexia nervosa) will have images in their heads of bodies they wish they had. They include but are not limited to:

  • visible collar bones
  • thighs that don’t touch
  • no love handles
  • visible hip bones

I know, I’ve been there.
I remember being in therapy telling my therapist that I thought that if my thighs touched, it meant I was fat. She explained to me that thighs touching isn’t an indicator of fattness; even people who are healthy weights may have thighs that touch. There are so many different body types. The likelihood of your thighs touching depends on several things, like your bone structure and musculature. It is not an indicator of “being fat”

I’m writing this post because I hear and see comments like this more often than I should: People wishing that you could see their ribs, wishing their hip bones popped out or that their collarbones were prominent.

A person’s drive for weight loss should be solely for improving one’s health.

For those of you who diet or try to lose weight to achieve that “thin” look I described above, I have news for you: You will never reach it. Why? Because enough is never enough. You will never be satisfied. Your collarbones will never be visible enough for your liking. Your hips will never be prominent enough, your thighs will never be too thin. And these standards aren’t those that other people hold upon you. You’re already beautiful the way you are. These are standards and images you seek to obtain yourself.

Please, learn to love yourself for how you are now. If you catch yourself thinking that you will not be beautiful or attractive until you achieve a certain look, please talk to someone. I don’t want to see anyone heading down the dark path that I got trapped in.

As always, you can always use me as a resource>
I’m here to help, always.

Love,
Marilee

marilee.fritsch@gmail.com

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The photos in this post were taken from Happy Valley Magazine, Penn State University 

Sleep, Stress and Overeating

Here we go, a post related to what I’m actually studying!

I know I write a lot about mood, but our lifestyle factors (attitude, sleep, exercise, and nutrition) definitely have an impact on how we feel, act, and portray ourselves!

Recent research done by Harvard Medical School actually did a study on sleep and weight gain. To make a long story short, those who don’t get enough sleep make poor food decisions; they opt for high-calorie, low-nutrient foods, and they overeat. 

I can personally attest to this finding. When I don’t get enough sleep, I’m grumpy, and I feel the need to eat to increase my energy. As a result, I feel stressed, then I turn to food. Then I over eat, gain weight, and the cycle repeats. 

In contrast, when I get a full night’s sleep, I’m more energetic, productive, and likely to make better choices regarding food, and I feel as though I get more from my work outs.

The best way for me to see this is by keeping a food journal. Writing down what you’re eating makes you more aware of what you’re putting in your mouth, so you think more about what and how much you’re eating. In my food journal, I write down the following:

Time
Mood & energy level
Food item & quantity (drinks included)
Calorie content

So, an example would look like this:

6/29/13 2:26pm
feeling sleepy, annoyed. Somewhat tired.
2 cups of coffee with 2% milk (~50cal), 5 small pretzels (60), 1 tbsp natural peanut butter (100)
Total calories: 210

The more detailed your logs are, the more it will help you! I also recommend keeping a log of how you sleep, and an exercise journal. That way you can see how your lifestyle choices affect your mood, and you can make changes from there to create a more productive and fulfilling life for yourself 🙂

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