Women Empowering Women

“There’s a place reserved in Hell for women who don’t help other women.”
–Madeleine Albright

Name-calling, rumor-spreading, and cyber bullying are all things which encompass relational aggression, a special type of aggression which is most often utilized among females. When I see or hear these things, women oppressing women by insulting or intentionally causing emotional damage to each other, I can’t help but cringe. How are we to escape the pressure we put on ourselves to look and be “perfect” if we scrutinize each other so often?

The way I see it, it’s a vicious cycle. One female feels unhappy with herself, so she calls another female “fat,” “ugly,” or a “whore” in order to feel more comfortable with herself. I feel like a lot of females do this, draw negative attention to another female, in order to divert possible negative attention that may come their way. It’s incredibly sad, honestly, that any female should feel so awful about herself that she feels the need to put down another, and what’s even more sad is that the female she puts down often times believes in the unwarranted and hurtful comments that come her way.

What on earth are we doing? All people are incredibly beautiful. Some are scarred, some are hurt, some have been severely affected by adversity, but we are all unique and that is beautiful.

I thought I’d take the time to stress the importance of empowering each other.

First of all, I went for a run the other day in downtown State College, and I saw this written on the sidewalk: Why don’t we see this everywhere? Why aren’t messages like this all over social media? Why is it so acceptable and natural to call someone a whore or a slut, but it’s almost uncomfortable or unheard of to say “You are beautiful”? Why is a female considered conceited if she says, “I am beautiful,” or walks around with her head held high?

Ladies, we need to empower each other. Lift your head up and smile, and if you see a girl with her head down, or if you sense a girl feels as if she isn’t worthy or good enough, let her know otherwise!

I follow a ton of people on Twitter with mindsets similar to my own, and I noticed that one of the women I follow just made a blog post which mentioned her previous struggle with an eating disorder. At first I thought, “Oh, sweet! Another recovery story!” But what made this one special is that this woman is a social worker, and she shared her struggle for the first time on her blog.

(You can view it here:  progressnotperfection.co.uk )

After posting her blog, she tweeted this:
Shared blog on Facebook for the very first time! If it makes just one person more aware it’s worth it #recovery #openness #beingreal

This is the mentality that we need– that sharing our stories and our wisdom is worth it if we can positively affect just one person by it

Nutrition and the Community

So this week, I worked in Penn State’s foods lab for “Cook Like a Chef” camp, in which kids aged 11-13 (mostly scholarship kids– their household income needs to be below a certain amount) learn the basics of cooking from the basics of all the food groups– grains, fruits and veggies, fat, protein, and dairy. 

PSU nutrition students (such as yours truly) got to begin the lessons with brief power point presentations on the food group(s) of the day. Following this, the kids usually did some sort of taste testing (of different breads, oils, unusual vegetables, milk & milk alternatives, etc). Most of the lesson was the actual cooking portion.

At the end of each day of camp, all of the food was placed in the front of the room, buffet-style, and the kids got to eat all of the creations that they made. There was always leftovers to take home. 

The purpose of the camp is to teach younger individuals (who are starting to make their own decisions regarding food) how to cook food and have fun doing it so that they may use the skills learned to be better informed consumers, and go home and have their parents follow suit. The kids always leave fed and eager to show their parents the creations they made. 

Today was the final day of camp and we had a reception to which all the kids’ families were invited. I was eager to meet the one boy’s mom because he was a 12-year-old boy who was absolutely considerate and overall just a total sweetheart, something you don’t come around that often. I commended his mom for raising such a great kid.

At the end of the reception, each of the kids got their own individual awards. Even the ones who had the mentality that they were “too cool” for the camp had smiles on their faces when they got their awards. Of course, being an oversensitive female, this made me want to cry.

Some of these kids come from homes or environments in which they are told or treated like they won’t amount to anything, or they are ignored or get very little praise or recognition. These are the kids who grow up feeling like they can’t do anything great, but in an environment such as this cooking camp, they’re part of a group, they accomplish things, and are rewarded in the end.

When I was younger and still deciding on what I wanted to do with my life career-wise, I knew one thing: I wanted to help people. Whether its being a teacher, a doctor, or a counselor, I just wanted to help. After being fascinated with weight-loss and overcoming an eating disorder, I realized that I could study nutrition and help people, whether its helping people reach their weight loss goals, counseling eating disorder patients on how to nourish their bodies again, or teaching kids how to cook and feel good about themselves. I absolutely love every part of it.

Have a lovely day everyone! Wishing you health & happiness!
Love,
Marilee

P.S. I took this photo this week during camp, this quotation was written on the wall of the HUB parking deck at Penn State

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Taken from my “Development Through the Lifespan” text by Laura E. Berks

“I wish my thighs didn’t touch”

Many of us dying to lose weight (especially those with anorexia nervosa) will have images in their heads of bodies they wish they had. They include but are not limited to:

• visible collar bones
• thighs that don’t touch
• no love handles
• visible hip bones

I know, I’ve been there.
I remember being in therapy telling my therapist that I thought that if my thighs touched, it meant I was fat. She explained to me that thighs touching isn’t an indicator of fattness; even people who are healthy weights may have thighs that touch. There are so many different body types. The likelihood of your thighs touching depends on several things, like your bone structure and musculature. It is not an indicator of “being fat”

I’m writing this post because I hear and see comments like this more often than I should: People wishing that you could see their ribs, wishing their hip bones popped out or that their collarbones were prominent.

A person’s drive for weight loss should be solely for improving one’s health.

For those of you who diet or try to lose weight to achieve that “thin” look I described above, I have news for you: You will never reach it. Why? Because enough is never enough. You will never be satisfied. Your collarbones will never be visible enough for your liking. Your hips will never be prominent enough, your thighs will never be too thin. And these standards aren’t those that other people hold upon you. You’re already beautiful the way you are. These are standards and images you seek to obtain yourself.

Please, learn to love yourself for how you are now. If you catch yourself thinking that you will not be beautiful or attractive until you achieve a certain look, please talk to someone. I don’t want to see anyone heading down the dark path that I got trapped in.

As always, you can always use me as a resource>
I’m here to help, always.

Love,
Marilee

marilee.fritsch@gmail.com

The photos in this post were taken from Happy Valley Magazine, Penn State University 

Running for Freedom

Not gonna lie, today I woke up tired, annoyed, worn out, and exhausted. I also really wasn’t looking forward to working on a holiday. Regardless, I went on a run after work anyway. (The hardest part is always the first five minutes).

I originally planned on walking the whole distance, but then “The Ghost of Tom Joad” by RATM came on my mp3 player, and it got me thinking about freedom of all types. I thought about financial freedom, and how hard it is for some people to earn enough money to live without sacrificing their morals or priorities. 

I thought about mental freedom, and how some of us are destroying ourselves from our own thoughts or worries.

I thought about freedom of judgement and the pursuit of happiness. I wish everyone could feel comfortable enough to do what makes them happy (truly happy– not abusing drugs or alcohol, that brings temporary pleasure, not lasting happiness, in my opinion) without fear of someone else tearing them down/

I thought about the freedom of kids being able to go to school and not have to worry about being bullied. About the freedom of being able to lay one’s head at night in a place where they feel safe from verbal abuse, safe from neglect, safe from fighting, insults, and yelling. Safe from someone telling them they won’t amount to anything.

I thought about adults who are still struggling to get their lives together. The homeless on the streets. You don’t know what they’ve gone through, you don’t know what they’re still going through, and you don’t know how many times they’ve been kicked when they were already down. You don’t know if they’ve ever had that person to tell them that they are worth something. And that means everything.

I thought about the freedom from sexual violence and the proceeding mental anguish. The fact that no one deserves to be forced to take their clothes off or engage in any activity that isn’t loving, comfortable or consensual.

I thought about running so fast that I could eradicate this pain from everyone’s existence.  

Skim Milk Is Healthier than Whole Milk, Right? Maybe Not

I’ve been telling people that milk is overrated… here’s evidence to back me up!

Nothing is good…

Nothing is good or bad; it just is. Any item, person, event, or experience is only as good or bad as you perceive them to be